If I were God...

...I would have given a choice to human beings when to take birth and when to die.

I am sure someone who is thirty and has a wife, a six year old daughter and a mother, who had lost her husband more than a decade back, would never have wanted to die so early.

He cannot act as per his whims and fancies, just because He is God, He cannot make such mistakes, its not even a mistake, its a blunder. He is God afterall, to err is human ,God cannot err. And if He does, He is as good as a human.

Truth is always absolute, you cannot qualify it, likewise goodness is always absolute, you cannot qualify that as well. God is synonymous with goodness, if there is a qualification in His goodness, I don't think I want to call Him God.

We punish murderers and terrorists when they kill people, does God get any punishment if He kills humans? No! and its not fair.

I have lost faith in Him.

p.s. One of my dear friends passed away on Nov. 21, I got to know it yesterday, I could not but think about all what I have written here, I am sad because its Him who did it, knowing very well how important it was for my friend to live.

I don't want to grow up ever :)

there is no fun in growing up and I realised it last night.

for the first time, someone sent me a lullaby (on my insistence only :P) over an sms, and the sms read:

"So ja gudiya raani"

now tell me, why should I grow up ever!

My high tech Diwali Pooja

Diwali day....6:58 pm..

Aloo ki sabzi was getting ready, rather I was making it ready...

tring tring...

hi G, wassup...

hey just wanted to let u know that pooja time is not from 8 pm, its till 8 pm...

Shit!, I need to take bath, get ready, I did not even download the Laxmi ji ki aarti I was supposed to, and the sabzi is still 'work-in-progress'...

anyway, sabzi can wait, not the pooja...

Never in my life I took bath so quickly.. 7:30 pm I was out of the bathroom...

cleaned my Mandir, arranged things properly..time...7:40 pm

Placed my laptop near the Mandir, switched in on...! no battery, shit... put it on battery, connected the data card....

opened google.com and searched for Laxmi ji ki aarti...got it! :)

oh...one has to start the pooja with Ganesh ji ki aarti, time 7:44 pm googled 'Ganesh ji ki aarti' and don't know got what!, then searched for 'Jai Ganesh Jai Ganesh Jai Ganesh Deva',yessssss got it!

time: 7:50 pm..

started the pooja, finished Ganesh ji ki aarti by 7:52 it was so small, I double checked it by going to another site, but that's how it was, it was really too small..

then I did Laxmi Ji Ki aarti and it was 7:57, did Vishnu ji ki aarti and could finish my pooja by 8 pm...

I smiled :) at the way I did the pooja, but it was a lovely experience, though I was alone for the first time for Diwali Pooja, I am glad I could recite all the aartis :)

so it was my first experience of reciting the aartis reading from the laptop connected to internet, what a high tech Diwali pooja, I must say :P

In fact I made kheer for Prasad and I made it pretty well :) R, my friend had come over for dinner and I made a sumptuous meal which I think is the best I have cooked so far, thankfully my gas cylinder came finally after 15 days and all this while I was cooking on an electiric heater (yes I know how to cook on a heater) R was not very happy with the idea of having kheer cooked on a heater, and guess what, bhagwan ne uski sun li :P

Though I missed my parents and family, but still this Diwali was special in its own way!

Life's beautiful and so are the people...

its that part of the year that I love the most, besides the Rakhi time of course...went for shopping for diwali and I realised that there is so much happiness in life, life is so beautiful, the market was crowded..damn crowded. As I entered the market, seeing all those festivities, I could not help but think about my family and a certain someone who I had thought would be with me for life but who will not be now, just thought why did it happen, why some people just can't be happy with what they have got, why they don't see happiness in the small little things in life and spoil life for frivolous reasons but I got over these thoughts and dived into the crowd, I became one of them, it was lovely, colours everywhere, sounds of the crackers and loads of faces, all happy, everyone looking forward to the festival of joy, and I too felt the joy. It was one of my best shopping experiences...shopping from the street, for little diyas, Rangoli colours, small feet impressions of Laxmiji, toran and what not :) the Aunty selling those diyas and Rangoli colours actually told me how to mix the colours and loved her, she really was sweet..

Got my first gift for this diwali as well, guess from who? from my beauty parlour wali Aunty :) that was a lovely gesture again.

I really felt life is too beautiful to waste, don't really know why some people don't understand the importance of life, love, happiness and the ones who care for them...

Anyway, I am enjoying my gift, this feeling of happiness and life as well :)